KGBlog

paulo coelho, author of the alchemist, along with many other fantastic books, has been rocking my face off again. i can't even begin to convey the insights into life/love/humanity/god that he provides in his writing, but i can say, "go and get one of his books...any of them...and your life will more than likely get flipped upside down".

Posted in: on Sunday, April 27, 2008 at at 9:41 PM 0 comments  

that happened.

Posted in: on Tuesday, April 01, 2008 at at 9:10 AM 1 comments  

brooke waggoner, the damnwells, paper route, wild sweet orange

Posted in: on Saturday, March 08, 2008 at at 10:41 AM 0 comments  

sunday i got to check "run a marathon" off of the short list of things i want to do before i die. given that the times i get to check things off that list are few and far between, it was an exciting day.  i'll spare you the play by play and give you just a couple of the highlights:

have you heard about the guy who does triathlons and other events with his quadriplegic son...well he was there. his son was strapped into some sort of cart that he pushes along as he runs. it's one of the more amazing stories if you haven't heard of them. he actually pushed/carried his son for an entire iron man triathlon a while back. here's a video from it that would make a grown onion cry. (if you watch it with the idea of the dad pushing his helpless son being like god carrying us along...you'll cry...a lot...just so you know)

speaking of crying, my personal highlight was a little past mile 25: so, i've always heard that marathon's are very emotional things toward the end. i never really gave it much thought until yesterday, but at this point in the race the thought came into play. now we all know that i do not cry (due to my self diagnosed "under-active tear ducts") but i got as close to it as you can get without tears actually leaving your eyeballs. why, you ask? well, part of the story involves a high school band. the other part is some bible imagery. there's that whole image of running a race correlating to the christian life. running the race and having the encouragement of those who have gone before us to push us on. this imagery pops into my head as i round one of the final curves in the road and hear people cheering us on, and see us running, limping, jogging, walking, toward the end with whatever we have left in us. given the weariness of my body i may have had some sort of emotional response at this point anyway but the little band i mentioned earlier now comes into play because what are they playing/singing: "when the saints come marching in". having that song as the background to my thoughts added so much to the weight of the imagery that the tear ducts almost couldn't handle it. that moment alone was definitely worth not being able to walk for the past two days.

Posted in: on Monday, February 25, 2008 at at 7:14 PM 0 comments  

greg laswell, rosie thomas, jeremy casella, obadiah parker

Posted in: on Tuesday, February 05, 2008 at at 8:08 PM 0 comments  

your new favorite site...and not just because it's my new favorite site:

Posted in: on at at 7:53 PM 0 comments  

a couple of new songs on the myspace page...which is, by the by, now much easier on the eyes.

Posted in: on Wednesday, January 23, 2008 at at 10:53 PM 0 comments  

the national, joshua james, the weepies, ben lee

Posted in: on Thursday, January 03, 2008 at at 6:49 PM 0 comments  

Posted in: on Monday, December 31, 2007 at at 11:58 AM 0 comments  

so we were sitting around at dinner last night and this was the conversation that occured:

dad: did you know that when you were in first or second grade the class had to say who their heroes were...and you wrote down pele and george burns.

me: awesome

mom: the other guys put things like "my dad". i think he felt left out.

me: i'm sticking by my choices...i think they were fantastic...did the teacher know who george burns was?

dad: that's what i'm still wondering

Posted in: on Monday, December 24, 2007 at at 9:55 PM 0 comments  

i found this a rather enjoyable read. though i haven't even seen the movie beyond the trailer, i think we can all enjoy the witty banter in this paste review of the movie entitled:

Posted in: on Saturday, December 08, 2007 at at 4:03 PM 0 comments  

paolo nutini, missy higgins, the avett brothers, the robbie seay band

Posted in: on Tuesday, December 04, 2007 at at 2:07 PM 0 comments  

if you like good music...and you like things that are a good time...then go to the paste magazine website and get yourself a year subscription....and pay whatever you feel like paying...mmhmm....you get to name your price. all year for $1 or $1000....whatever you feel like. and if you dont know about paste...its amazing. along with the obviously great music stuff in the magazine itself you get a sampler cd of seriously awesome music each month. do it...if for no other reason than me begging you to. do it.

Posted in: on Tuesday, November 20, 2007 at at 6:59 PM 0 comments  

the other day a group of up jumped in a van drove and hour to baton rouge to see hillsong united. (for anyone who doesnt know the awesomeness out of australia that is hillsong united:
they have been probably the most influential band in my life the past half a year or so because of the amazing worship music they put out there and the fact that the churches i have been involved with have all been a fan of using their stuff.) so, hillsong i love and the way that they do worship and it's amazing music, amazing everything in general, etc.



well the van rolled up a mere 15 before they were to hit the stage and the rather large church at which they were playing was already packed and the fire marshall was making them close the doors. well needless to say we were a bit dissapointed as we were pointed in the direction of the outdoor screen from which we could watch the events inside. here is where i decide to do my own thing. as the rest of the group found a place outside i decided that i would go scout a way to the promise land of the sanctuary. so i struck out on my lonesome and wandered back around the church. i found myself at a side door through which some of the staff was going back and forth and in the midst of a few others dedicated to the idea of getting in. we soon realized that there were in fact a few seats left in the glorious promise land and that one of the staff was counting them out by going in and tracking them down and then returning to this side door to let in groups in the amounts which seats were being found. so we formed a....less of a line...more of a ....oh yes....mob and waited. he would come back and forth and grab those he thought had been waiting longest and let people in. well, in one of the groups that got in i found myself whooshed and in i was. so were you excited? you ask...i'll tell you. i was. kind of. as i was swooped inside the doors i caught sight of one girl who had been waiting longer than i had, who had already seen her friends go in and was still waiting and as i looked back through the glass of the doors i felt like crap. so...i tried to go in but couldnt and came back to ask the door security if i could go switch with her because she had been wating longer....to which his answer was dont worry about it just go in....and i was mildly shocked at this response here at a church but listened and went in. one song later (which i had decided was as far as i could go without feeling like the most selfish person ever) i returned to the door to once again loby for the girls entry. the guy at the door this time was willing to let us switch but as i looked out at the few still waiting i saw not the familiar little hat of the girl. she had made it i hoped...and when i said she was not there he said that he had walked across the room for a minute and the door had somehow been opened allowing a group of 15 or so to rush in...to which i replied "good...i mean not good for the fire code marshal thing....but good that she got in....but not good..." to which he replied with a "yes...not good about the fire code." and i returned to watch the rest of the excitement with a much less guilty conscious and it was freaking amazing.



so in conclusion i am glad that i decided to try to get in since hillsong is only in the states a couple weeks of the year and why oh why they were in baton rouge only an hour away i have no idea...but it was fantastic and though i found myself to be waffling on being incredibly selfish i think in the end things turned out ok. so if you get the chance to go see them...show up a little early.

Posted in: on Sunday, November 18, 2007 at at 7:41 PM 0 comments  

Some new pics from around town over at the flickr...

Posted in: on Monday, November 05, 2007 at at 2:06 AM 0 comments  

i was on the bbc news online today and came across some interesting things:

a. the bbc has changed their look. they now have a british home page and an international one which, i hear, may soon have advertizements.

b. the delhi deputy mayor was killed by a pack of monkeys who attacked him in his home and knocked him off of his balcony. that, while an interesting story, was not what caught my eye. it was, in fact, the part of the article where they adresses some of the proposed solutions to the problem of the monkey infestation the city faces. in particular the option of training larger more ferocious monkeys to chase the smaller less ferocious ones (the ones that did this) out of town. pause. something seems a bit off with that idea. anyone?

c. dumbledore way gay. oh yeah, he was in love with gellert grindelwald. j.k. told me.

Posted in: on Sunday, October 21, 2007 at at 6:57 PM 0 comments  

sorry not to have posted in the past month or so but it has been a bit chaotic recently. not that i havent had a chance to post but i have been traveling quite a bit and therefore exploring new places instead of being online. so....when last i blogged i was at camp. running the camp store for a couple of weeks was a great experience but one that happened, to my mind, ages ago. since then i have been to fayetteville for a couple of weddings while spending a week with my parents, to visit lee and kyle in wilmington and get my one day of nc beach in for the summer (way not enough nc beach), through raleigh/chapel hill and to the dash for a few days before traveling to chattanooga to visit deeds on my way to the woodlands, tx, which is 45minutes or so north of houston. i also like run-on sentences. i stayed in the woodlands for a month taking care of a house for a family that moved to kazakhstan and meeting some great folks as well as finding one of the most amazing churches i have ever encountered or could ever even make up. after a month there filled with relaxing, playing my guitar, and hanging out with awesome folks i packed up again and drove east to NOLA, the big easy, good ole' new orleans where i will be for the next year. my new job is being a human grant. for real. i work for americorps and ngo's applied to get us to work for them to aid in the rebuilding process. so that's me. a living grant, applied for and recieved. i get to do what i did earlier this summer over in slidell, ie be an onsite leader of volunteer groups coming down to help rebuild homes in the area, learning and then imediately teaching construction techniques and making sure the teams have tools and whatever they need and that things run smoothly, etc. it's been a bumpy start so far but a good one too. more on that later though. for now that i think is all. i am nervous/excited about the year and ready for all the training and orienting that is going on now to be over so that my group and i can get down to doing what we all came for, helping people for whom, two years out, little has changed.

Posted in: on Monday, September 10, 2007 at at 2:13 AM 0 comments  

Posted in: on Monday, July 30, 2007 at at 4:11 PM 0 comments  

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Posted in: on Thursday, July 12, 2007 at at 2:31 PM 1 comments  

Posted in: on Tuesday, July 10, 2007 at at 10:26 PM 0 comments  

today i was talking with a friend over an old question. how can you tell what god wants you to do with your life? how can you know what path he wants you to take? something along those lines anyway, however you want to phrase it. the question you ask when you have no idea what god wants you to do or what path he wants you to take, and it seems like he has given you way to many options or none at all. i've been stuck on that question at various times in my life, but it was my friend who happened to be stuck there today. having not really spent any time recently gathering my thoughts on the question i was interested to see what my brain would spit out in response. out spilled a sum up of, i guess, my most recent take on the christian life and i will try to sum up my sum up.

i guess we arent really talking about what god wants us to do on little stuff here, this is mostly like "what does god want my prefession to be" sort of stuff. but i will sum up on the little stuff first. i've noticed things recently such as the fact that god and the writers of the bible pretty much assume that the christian will be serving others, meeting needs, giving of what they have(financial, time, etc.), especially to the needy(orphan, widow, homeless, etc.). they speak to this stuff in terms of when you do it, not saying that you should, its just a given. so thats something. in the small, day to day, its a given that we are to give, love, share, build up, be the samaritan to the person everyone else is walking past.

so in christianese we are saying that our life is a ministry regardless of what our prefession is. in non-christianese(which i like) we are saying that we will experience life as it was meant to be lived when we love those we come into contact with and give willingly of what we have been blessed with, etc(continue on with anything that lifestyle might produce) without any regard to who those benefiting are(whether they are in with the christians or not). theres a lot there and stuff that i would love to adress (like how we as christians give all of our words bad connotations, ie ministry sounds like a job not like the lifestyle i described in the non-christianese section just now) but i'll save that for another time and we can move on.

as far as the big stuff i have moved past trying to figure out the whole what is the exact one thing that god is calling me to. i've got this idea that he wants me to be myself. the me he created me to be. i think the me he created is passionate about life and people and him and that he wants me to seek out the life that fuels that passion within me. if i am pursuing the things that i am passionate about and allowing myself to be the me that he created then i think i am in his will and am where he has called me to be.

Posted in: on at at 9:03 PM 0 comments  

well i'm back again with another update. nothing exciting except another location change. after a week in indiana, spent at my aunt and uncle's house in the woods, i returned to the 'ville for a couple days and then after a brief swing thought the dash i made my way down to slidell, la. Having been here for a couple weeks i'm now headed back up to nc, etc.

observations on each of my locations:
batesville, indiana: has a lot of farmland and narrow hilly unlined roads. there are also very few bugs.

fayetteville: doesnt change

winst: the mellow is wonderful...and a magnet for all that is emo.

slidell: has a lot of snow cone stands...they are all good.

Posted in: on Tuesday, June 19, 2007 at at 5:44 PM 2 comments  

i'm about to leave for indiana with my parents to see my grandpa, aunt, and uncle. we'll be there for a week and i'm looking forward to resting and relaxing by a pond outside of batesville indiana. we've got books, fishing poles, and golf clubs ready to go as well as the camera, which having spent a year at my side has grown roots into me...ie i'll be shooting portraits of the fam all week for old times sake...and maybe stalking down a few animals for close ups.

ps: an update. we are now at a courtyard marriott about halfway to indiana because my parents are the wimpiest travelers ever and couldnt even sit in the car past 9:45 while i drove. jeeze. peaceful pond i'm coming...soon-ish.

Posted in: on Sunday, June 03, 2007 at at 2:09 PM 2 comments  

ps i'm moving...

june:
3-10 visiting aunt, uncle, g-pa in indiana whom i havent seen in a few years.
11-16/17 visiting friends as i make my way to slidel, la.
rest of the month relief work in la.

july/aug. ?
at some point making my way to the woodlands, tx. (just outside of houston)
finding a job, etc.

...more info as i figure it out.

Posted in: on Sunday, May 20, 2007 at at 1:22 AM 1 comments  

so here's another blast from the past...not mario, i'll get to that, but another picture/story (though slightly shorter i hope):



When i was a kid, like age 2 all the way through high school, one of my best friends, Roddy, lived just down the road from me. There was a brief few years where we didn't live by each other but in the end both of our families ended up back in the same neighborhood as each other albeit all the way across town from the original neighborhood. I tell you this to preface a story, which is the story i plan on prefacing the post with. that may make sense in a minute.

I'm using paragraphs here per the request of Justin Lewis. So, as children we were always making up stories. Roddy mostly of how he was related to nearly every person of any importance regardless of race or nationality or era of human history. As a matter of rule we would refer to all people, that he could not attach himself to through his wandering bloodlines, as former college roomates. every story about anyone began, "back in 65 when pele and i were roomates at ucla" or something of that nature. i tell this story because i want to begin my story about this picture with, "back in college..." and i want you to know that the ficticious stories of my childhood are gone and i have in fact been to college and finished have had several roomates though not quite as many in my 4 and a half years at wake as i did in 65 alone.

Your welcome Justin. Back in college...(the story begins) i attended a college ministry at first presbyterian church and to this day remain connected with the ministry. As with all minitries there were yearly service trips to various locations in and out of the states and on more than one occasion i found myself in an orphanage in guatemala as well as in our nations capitol. i'll let you guess which location the pic up top is from.

the trip to d.c. falls after the finals of fall semester and before one makes their way home for christmas. i wish it was less obvious why that fact is important for the picture but in fact it is quite obvious and therefore i will say that the temperature in which we apear to be swimming laps in was quite not warm.

durring the d.c. trip one is exposed to quite possibly the earliest mornings a college student will ever face. up before dawn to serve breakfast to the homeless at a breakfast/worship service with rev. green and pastor brown, one of which became a pastor only after having spent most of his early life as a pimp. makes for a great testimony and at the same time no one can ever try the "i'm so bad that jesus can't love me" excuse with him because he has always done more crazy stuff than they have by far. so, anyway thats the morning. singing and listening and eating and it's great. after that you head off to deliver food, or prepare food at some kitchen, or hang out with kids in anacostia (which by the way is the scaries place ever...wiki it). needless to say that all the work and long hours can wear one out and therefore they schedule in a day to rest. for one afternoon we get to go up to the mall and talk to people about homelesness in the city/do a bit of being a tourist and check out some of the monuments and museums. that is the day in the picture. brooks smith, on the right, and myself decided that for some reason we would add the swimming shot to the long list of our antics for the week. we froze, pedestrians looked at us as if were were the dumbest people ever, but we loved it. in fact apart from the pic of the "giant joint" this one is i think my favorite of the ones we took that week.

ok to sum up, i'll clarify the "giant joint", other antics, and mario kart. one night we were dropped in the international district with money to eat wherever we chose. for the unlucky of us we happened upon and ethiopian restraunt with the worst food ever. i was nearly convinced that the hunger situation over there is not a result of not having food but of the sheer inedibility of it. this story deserves a bit more than it will get but in the end we rolled the green mush that we were served up in the round sheet of spongy bread on which it came and had what looked to be a 2 foot joint. we found other ways to amuse ourselves though apart from playing with our food. brooks and i played make out chicken with our leaders and left them with quite possibly the most shocked expresions i have ever seen. amy's jaw dropped in sheer horror and stayed for nearly 2 minutes as we all rolled around laughing on the sidewalk. along with sidewalks we rolled elsewhere. ever time brooks or i crossed an intersection with enough cars to warrant action we would fall and spill as many of our belongings as we could about. it's so funny to watch people try not to laugh at you for falling in an intersection. and, last but not least, if you ever find yourself lying on your back at the base of the washington monument, think rainbow road. once again sorry for not proofreading.

Posted in: on Tuesday, May 08, 2007 at at 9:45 PM 1 comments  

i'm thinking about starting to put some pictures into posts just to give them some color. along with that i'm thinking that a story about the pictures could be fun. so here's the first one:


this picture was taken on a trip to costa rica shortly after graduating from Wake. Taylor Detchon and myself decided a couple months before graduating that a trip was in order. He did all the research and proposed the idea of going to Costa Rica and learning to surf. I said sure. We then waited to see if the thing would come to fruition. One afternoon while i was working at 6th and Vine, a local restaurant, i got a call from Taylor and he relayed to me from his computer screen a remarkably low price on tickets to Costa Rica the day after graduation. My response was of course, "I'm in." So we got the tickets and we were on our way. Now earlier when i said that Tayor did all the research those people who know the two of us got an idea of where the story goes from here. The rest of you can figure it out on the way. We arrived in San Jose with the basic knowledge that we were going toward Mal Pais and that there should be some form of cheap bus/taxi/ferry system to get us there. We had no reservations, no contacts, nothing other that the knowledge that we should be able to get there. We grabbed a taxi from the airport(almost the priciest mistake of the trip, but only $50 or so between the two of us) which took up from San Jose to Puntarenas and dropped us at the ferry station. We made it in time for the last one across to Paquera that night and relaxed while we waited to get on. Once aboard we found some other travelers and struck up conversation about locations and conditions (aparently there was "bone break flu" going around near Montezuma and it was best to avoid it for a week or so...but our friends were ignoring the warning and going for it anyway. i mean who cares if you bones feel like they're breaking. the rumor being that this flu strain literally made you feel like your bones were breaking inside you. we on the other hand were not headed into bone break territory till the end of the trip and by then we would be in the clear.) the ride itself was surreal and we were fairly exhilirated at the thought that merely a day prior we had been receiving our diplomas back in North Carolina and now we were crossing the golfo de nicoya on a ferry with no real destination on the other side other than a beach of some sort out on the peninsula. We chatted with some other passengers about the area into which were were headed and found that there was in fact a small pizeria in mal pais they claimed was one of the best they had ever tried. we made mental note to try and find it at some point and got rough directions to its location. now my story is getting long so you will be glad to know that here is where the abridging comes in. the full story describes the random bits of chance luck that made this entire trip work perfectly and allowed us to have one of the best trips ever without having planed nary a whit of it but we will move on the the end. so, the very last evening as we prepared for our return to Puntarenas from Mal Pais, from whence we would travel on to San Jose the next day and then back to the States, we went in search of the pizeria as our last treat in paradise. I will set the scene of the area for you before we are actually seated. Mal Pais was in fact not the place where we ended up staying, but in a similar town a mile up the coast called Santa Theresa. Both are a part of this isolated surfing supported comunity on the coast of Costa Rica's peninsula accessed only by one dirt road that had been washed out and impasible only weeks before we had arrived and which spat a rented suv off of its muddy surface and into a ditch moments before we ourselves made our way out. (somehow there is a bus that actually travels on the road regularly.) Once your into the area there is one road that runs up the coastline lined with hostels, surf shops, restaurants, and...thats it. there is one market for groceries and the houses of the locals which are well off of the road and then the hotels, shops, and restaurants repeated one after another for at least two miles, then nothing. Oh, and each of the restaurants is either showing surfing videos which make you feel high even when you are not or jean claude van dam movies on repeat which tends to have to same effect. so that is the scene and its the most wonderful setup ever. where the main road come in and T's with the coastal road there is a small tail that extends across to make it a full on intersection though there are only a couple of stores on the other side and it soon runs itself out on the beach. there we find the pizeria. last building on the right. a roof and a kitchen and an eating area with no walls and a floor that is weathered wood raised a few inches off of... the beach. we order a hawaiian pizza (i dont care if you like them, i didnt, but here you like them.) while we waited for it to come we walked out on to the beach to watch the sunset and the result is the above picture. upon returning from our ten foot walk down the beach we sat and recieved one of the best pizzas i have ever tasted along with two squirts to drink and the company of the largest english sheepdog ever to exist at our side. the scene will probably go down forever as the most movie-esq moment of my life. now if you'll excuse me i have to run without proofreading this to deliver oreo's with my roomate to exam ridden college students. hopefully some of them will have an exciting adventure of their own when they finish up.

Posted in: on Thursday, May 03, 2007 at at 9:15 PM 2 comments  

unknowingly i posted my 100th post last time without making any comment on the milestone. having reached the century mark i feel like much more of a legit blogger. i also feel that it solidifies the rumors that i am bilogically linked to my computer. you may now classify me as a full fledged computer-a-holic. that being said this is post 101.

i went to cookout last night on the way home from work to grab a burger and perhaps a shake. i ordered the food part of the meal and then looked down the list of shake options planning to knock off one more on my way to trying each flavor. there was nothing. not one shake on that list i hadn't had. that is except for the elusive watermelon available only in the summer, i think maybe even just july and august. so there it is. i will check that off my list of thing to do before i die as soon as cookout gets that first shipment of ripe watermelon-y goodness.

Posted in: on Sunday, April 29, 2007 at at 9:42 PM 2 comments  

i'm sure many of you web savy folks out there have already done this but for those a bit behind, like me, who haven't seen this yet make your way over to google maps. if you happen to miss your flight to europe and need an alternate route they've got a good one for you. try oh new york to london and enjoy part 23 of your journey. or really anywhere from the states to anywhere over there for that matter. should make for an interesting trip.

Posted in: on Monday, April 16, 2007 at at 3:18 PM 0 comments  

newish song on the myspace page. oh how i love recording on my little broken mic.

Posted in: on Wednesday, April 11, 2007 at at 12:34 AM 0 comments  

it's time for a "100 things i want to do before i die" update:

my most recent project has been to polish off my attempt to taste every flavor of cookout milkshake. its going well and i'm now down to my last few even though they've gone from the original 36 to somewhere near 50 flavor combinations. the most expensive part of this experience? definitely the running shoes i got to run off the 500 pounds i'm sure to gain.

Posted in: on Thursday, April 05, 2007 at at 11:23 PM 2 comments  

i dont think that ive intentionally had a grudge against anyone in quite a while but i caught myself struggling with something like that past few days. theres this girl at work who tends to do anything that is in her best interest and pretty much rest of us be damnded. it drives me crazy but i dont really know what do do about it. so the other night i was thinking about stuff she had just pulled and really had made up my mind to be not on good terms with her at work, perhaps not even on speaking terms. having this plan in head i went on about my evening which consisted of god saying "hey you realize thats not at all the way i do things" and me saying "oh hey yeah youre right i didnt even think about that". but i still really wanted to hold it against her. i mean logically thinking its going to affect my mood much more than hers if i happen to be mad at her. so what was the proper course? i mean i know im probably supposed to forgive a lack of character on her part and treat her same as i would if she wasnt so obnoxious but at the same time her choices affect more than just myself. they affect all of us willing to pick up the slack. thus we all become more tired, touch, run-down, and worn out than we should be. oh to have some legit teamwork in that place. one rotten apple i guess. do i speak my frustration on behalf of others who feel it too or do i suck it up as inevitable? guess we'll see.

Posted in: on at at 11:03 PM 0 comments  

i'm trying to compile a list. a really big list. it's the "things i need to do before i die" kind of thing. ie: skydive, visit Machu Picchu, hike the AT, spend a month with my grandpa compiling the epic tales of great grandpa Reinking, live in Africa, scuba dive, take a trip just me and my dad, learn to sail, run a marathon, become fluent in at least one more language, heli-ski, be in times square for a new years, learn to fly fish, etc. Now obviously those have a lot to do with travel and i can't have an entire list comprised of places i want to go and big time consuming events so i'm in need of small stuff as well. thats where i'm stuck. so i'm going to the online lists of must dos, looking at books, and polling anyone who wants to respond to this little blog post of mine with recomendations. any suggestions are welcome!

thanks,
-kg

ps: 100 seems like a good number so that's what i'm shooting for but i really only need 80 or so given that i have probably already done at least 20 things by now in my life that i can put in as the others. stay tuned for a posting of the final list. it may take a little while.

Posted in: on Thursday, March 15, 2007 at at 11:16 PM 3 comments  

it's been one of those nights. it's funny how they come out of nowhere. things are going along fine and then all of a sudden youre struck with a longing for something more. james is gone for the week on a spring break trip to louisiana to help with continued katrina relief efforts. i am therefore here alone. i dont know what happens when you grow up but something about it has left me frightened of being left alone, just me and my thoughts. i remember back when i was a kid i loved silence. i would lay in the back yard for hours staring up into the clouds and soaking up the beauty. now silence scares me. if i'm alone i keep music going constantly. anything to aviod facing my conscious, my god, the hurts, the junk that has filled up my head in the time between that backyard and now. if i could have one thing tonight it would be peace with a past i may never understand and with a future that i cannot see, peace with a god who has already handed it to me, and a release from the things i grasp there in the corners of my mind. i would wave goodbye to doubt and fear and lay back with nothing weighing on my mind to the sweet sound of silence and think only of the beauty of my god. in the meantime i'll fall asleep once more with a song..."and we watch and wait and do nothing but sigh and hope everything is gonna turn out right"

Posted in: on at at 1:09 AM 0 comments  

has anyone ever noticed that for every year of life there is a song that has you covered? i mean in high school when i was a freshman...the verve pipe song freshman came out. when i was 17 and 18 there were country songs from tim and i think maybe kenny that came out referencing my age. even now that i'm in my 20's its still going on. 23 kenday payne, 24 switchfoot, and now that i'm 25 i've got snow patrol's chocolate for company. opening lines, "this could be there very minute i'm aware i'm alive, all these places feel like home. with a name i've never chosen i can make my first steps as a child of 25..."

not sure what 26 holds for me songwise but i'm sure its out there. for this year though i'll enjoy the one i've got.

Posted in: on Saturday, March 10, 2007 at at 10:18 AM 0 comments  

i went to see 300 tonight with a few guys. it being opening night was pretty cool and it was pretty freaking packed. but all of my excitement was not disapointed, the movie was great and i've now got the urge to go fight someone...but not really i dont want to get hurt. i am though left with this overwhelming respect and admiration, as i am after any movie where people fight for something they believe, for the spartains. there is something so amazing about people with such a strong sense of honor and courage and duty and all that good stuff that they would never compromise what they believe. i am so jealous of it sometimes. i look at my own life and the things i believe. ie everything about christ and god and i wish that i was so uncompromising. i mean its not that there are large glaring failures in my relationship with god but the fact is that i fail all the time in little ways, and going against my god on little stuff when i want my own way is just as bad as doing something big. so there's a new prayer for myself. i want to be as uncompromising and as passionate about remaining true to my god as those guys on the big screen are about staying true to each other and their way of life. thanks sparta.

Posted in: on at at 12:07 AM 0 comments  

obviously given the topic of my last post love has been on my mind recently. oddly enough it has not been the type in the last post. more of the type referenced in the preceeding three posts.

i have this growing feeling that i might really want to love my god and that he might really want to love me. now i dont understand him and why he would let me get lost for two hours in charlotte while my friend waited patiently for me to meet her for dinner but i for some reason dont know that i have to know why. let me go back to that one. i mean i was mad last night, really mad. i was certain that there was no one benefiting from the fact that every set of directions i recieved for those two hours was way off. and i was furious at god, not because i was tired of driving around, but because my friend was having to suffer from my plight. but now i seem to think that i dont have to know why everything happens, and as much as i didnt think god was very helpfull last night i guess im still going to hold onto the idea that i am a part of his bride and that hes in love with me. so why do i have this feeling? i think that its due to all the stuff about worship i've been writing. i have experienced worship consistently for the past couple of months within the most genuine group i have found in a long time. i barely know any of the people there but regardless of our lives away from that place for the time that we are there we are all in the presence of our love. he is there with us and we are pouring out our hearts in song and prayer to him. what happens in that place is real. i'll come back to the thing i love most. by the end of the worship we have all nearly lost our voices and are belting out in cracking off pitchedness (including those leading the singing) the final repeted shouts of our praise to our god. there is something in the intensity of the worship and the passion of it that i love. it's like pastor alans sermons. theres nothing much to take away from them that is tangible. not a big lesson or a long list of to-dos, but just the feeling of having just been in gods presence and experienced him. to know a passionate love such as our gods can only inspire it within you. and that for me is the only thing that can inspire it. i am always told to be overwhelmed by the love christ demonstrated way back when on the cross. it has never done so. not once. i for some reason have always lived in the present. oh im grateful and happy that he did it but its past. show me a god that loves me here and now and youll get me going. show me a god who holds me in his grasp who whispers to me every hour of every day how much he loves me and you have my attention. it is the god that im beginning to believe still loves me, that i might just really want to love.

ps: this is in no way a shot at the upcoming easter holiday. im sure there are some people who are greatly impacted by the past and im all for that. its just not me at this point. also this "starting to believe thing" is a bit of a throwback to a back in the day blog about how awesome it would be if we as christians really believed what we said was true. ie: me really believing that god loves me, not just "knowing", would be pretty sweet.

Posted in: on Tuesday, March 06, 2007 at at 10:14 PM 0 comments  

unnecessary information that i figured out today...

i havent dated anyone in like 6 years. that means since i was in my teens. i dont know what the record is but i think im doing pretty well.

in a related story my roomate once told a girl i was asexual...which is in fact not the case although from the track record above i can see where one might get that idea.

id like to say im working on the situation but i dont know if i see any highened efforts into the dating scene on the horizon.

Posted in: on Sunday, March 04, 2007 at at 1:44 AM 2 comments  

QOTW:
"Obsession is a young man's game."
-old guy in The Prestige

other thoughts:
this guy allen, a pastor, is pretty awesome. he speaks at this worship thing i go to on saturdays and never fail he brings to each talk a severe passion for god. it's so awesome. his messages are not very typical and last week he mentioned that his wife pointed out to him that they are in fact not even always that practical. there is something about this whole worship thing that is fairly impractical and i think there may be something to that. i know it's been said before that we are not necessarily supposed to get anything from a worship service, in fact the name would suggest that we are there not for ourselves but to worship our creator. i find though that most pastors give us something to work on, get better at, a way to improve our christian life, love better, pray better, not sin better, but save till the end a few brief words directed at the love of christ which is the solution to whatever problem or task they have spoken to. why not skip all the other stuff and go straight to love. if its the solution for all of the other stuff then why not just always talk about it. talk about experiencing it and stuff so that when we do experience it we wont wonder what it is. this is sort of what allen does. he talks about gods love for us. and he speaks from his experience. pulling out of his own life experiences of gods faithful love. there is something in that as well. the more a pastor teaches about scripture the more it becomes a classroom. the more he makes it a part of his life the more life changing and overwhelming the gospel becomes. as i see it now a worship service ought to flow from worship to worship to worship in different forms. singing or listening, proclaiming the love of god for us and reminding us why we have gathered in his presence, basking in his love and he in return basking in our love for him. for though we come to worship it is not a thing that starts with us. we rarely come already overwhelmed with him to the point of worship, no he is there loving us already but we have forgetten that he is. in remembering it once again we then can begin to worship.

thats what we have been thinking about for a few weeks. this god that we come to loves us so much. he loves us always and this will not change ever for anything. no matter what day it is, no matter our attitude, god is not swayed. his love for us is not affected by us. it is just love. he desires to pour it out upon us and for us to live intoxicated by it. there is something so amazing about the times when we dont need practicality in our life, in our church. worship, or love for that matter, is best when there is no regard for common sense. mary pouring a jar of perfume on jesus' feet that cost way to much to waste. god and his bride casting aside all that anyone else would find of value to be together, to bring a smile to the face of the other. that is love and what happens in real worship.

Posted in: on Monday, February 26, 2007 at at 6:51 PM 0 comments  

i have recently become re-obsessed with a song from the first ten shekel shirt cd. unashamed love. lyrically it's r.m.f.o.

"You're calling me to lay aside the worries of my day, to quiet down my busy mind and find a hiding place..."

fairly perfect start to a worship song...and probably the most accurate description of what god's doing to me at the moment. as i am obsessed with it i've been playing it a lot on the guitar and james agreed to accompany me tonight on the djembe. post-song we decided to have a worship song per night. well i wanted to and he has agreed to apease me. i'm excited about it.

Posted in: on Thursday, February 15, 2007 at at 11:01 PM 1 comments  

a couple of thoughts:

a. i recently remembered my love for costa rican culture and the fact that i somehow recieved the attitude and lifestyle of that society though i was born and raised in NC. need proof? here's a brief passage from wikipedia that should be convincing enough.

"Ticos are normally very friendly, helpful, laid-back, unhurried, educated, hygienic, non-violent and environmentally aware people. They worry little about deadlines and arrive late to many appointments. For Ticos, spending quality time with family and friends is paramount and most people prefer jobs that allow them free time."

need more? here, read on.

b. i've really been craving community. in the church kind of sense. i have had very little in the way of church, corporate worship, and/or discussion of god and that sort of stuff recently given that i work on sunday most of the time and that my schedule in general is fairly chaotic. so, first off, i decided to listen to some charlie hall this morning on the way to work. marvelous light is one of my favorite songs. this was the first time i'd listened to it in like half a year probably and so i had it stuck in my head and really wanted to pull out the guitar when i got home and play it. well, before i could i actually went to a worship sort of service called verge over at reynolda pres that they have on saturday nights. i walk in and what do you think was the first song gene had picked out for the evening? oh yeah, marvelous light. i love the "coincidence" of it. god is good.
god then proceded to provide me with the worship that i had so longed for. it was great. singing with a group of people to our god. and it was real and genuine. we all belted it out so long and hard that by the last song we had all nearly lost our voices and could only weakly offer up the last few lines with cracking straining voices. i loved it. god is good.

Posted in: on Sunday, February 11, 2007 at at 12:59 AM 0 comments  

A- i learned to do a hand roll at my kayak roll class sunday. basically that means i can roll my kayak without using my paddle and i'm really excited about that.

B- i took this week off from my fiji water. instead of fiji i picked up a case of aquafina at the grocery on monday. why? just to remind my self why i drink fiji. it's so much better than everything else.

Posted in: on Monday, February 05, 2007 at at 2:27 AM 0 comments  

showers at night are the key to life.

note to everyone else:

look up the band phoenix on i-tunes. (long distance call to start. and then anything else. it's all good.)

Posted in: on Wednesday, January 31, 2007 at at 6:47 PM 0 comments  

this weekend, though i had nothing planned at all beforehand, must go down as one of the best of the year. by weekend i mean to include friday and monday as well. what made this weekend so great, especially since monday was my only day off?? here goes:

thursday i got a call from mat and les who had randomly decided to make the trip to winston friday night. therefore friday night was funfilled with good friends, lots of raquetball, and yo-crunch for dinner. saturday, post work, i made the trip to verge in lieu of the church service i was to miss sunday morning. there i hung out with kyle and lorin and kim. also very fun. sunday i was let off early from work so that i could go to my roll class. so for the very first time i got in my new kayak and got wet. after 10 mintes in the water i was rolling and my instructor was very proud of me. two hours of rolling and playing with the kayak in the water ensued. this event by itself put the weekend on the charts but todays unexpected events put us at the top of them. after amusing away the morning on the guitar i got a call around 330. "what are you doing from 430 till...all night?" "nothing" want to go see the fray and mute math in charlotte?" "absolutely". saturday evening i learned of a concert. a fray concert which mute math was opening at. i said "huh that would be fun" to which my friends replied "its been sold out for a while". at which point i let it lie and didnt think about it anymore till this monday afternoon and this call. little did my friends of saturday night know that my other friend knows the bass player of the fray and gave him some tickets. one of which made it my way. so i spent all night in charlotte with good friends hanging out on the fray tour bus, eating dinner backstage, and generally enjoying a free concert by two really sweet bands. i think that about sums it up.

Posted in: on Tuesday, January 23, 2007 at at 1:22 AM 1 comments  

so, remember back like a month ago when my job was insane and i worked like 70 hours a week? right well now i am at work and i am writing this blog. and i read the taming of the shrew over the past two days. and now i'm reading jane austin. needless to say things are a bit different. my co workers sit around with their kids watching dvd's and hit squishy balls at one another with golf clubs. i'm thinking i might enjoy the next 8 months until that whole christmas thing happens again.

Posted in: on Thursday, January 18, 2007 at at 3:15 PM 0 comments  

do you remember in jumanji when the animals and stuff start tearing through the house and city out of nowhere? well if there were a river and it suddenly apeared in the middle of our apartment...

Posted in: on Monday, January 15, 2007 at at 12:21 AM 0 comments  

here's a funny blast from the past

Posted in: on Sunday, December 31, 2006 at at 3:03 PM 0 comments  

if you remember the first blog about oranges, one which i still recieve comments on, then this one is nothing like it. i will not compare our lives to those of oranges on the side of the road. but i will say that i have partnered with those relatives, parents and friends of mine who chose to give cash as a christmas present and together we will be sending me to the orange bowl. go deacs. that is all.

Posted in: on Friday, December 29, 2006 at at 6:51 PM 0 comments  

while i never did fully reach christmas spirit in my brief attempt to attain full fledged deeply moving holiday cheer, i did have some success in a spiritual sense. After a few days spent focussed on jesus and his birth it would be hard to not start evaluating my own relationship with him. thus i think i was on the right track with my holiday plan. the full weight of christmas was not really ever felt but i think i am still moving toward it though the day is behind us now. why? well, ironically, i think that my relationship with god has been helped by the whole comercial gift giving side of things. my parents got me a new ipod for christmas given that my old one broke a few months back. since that afternoon, once i got all my songs loaded up, i have been rocking out to worship music like a fiend. passion songs, shane and shane, crowder...its great. after half a year stuck with talk shows on the radio in the morning i can now drive to work singing music i love praising my god. i love it. and god might too. so anyway to sum up on my experiment i think i've turned a corner thanks to the ipod and am now moving back toward a better and deeper relationship overall with the big guy.

Posted in: on at at 6:42 PM 0 comments  

so here it is less than a week before christmas and i'm not quite ready for it. no its not the shopping, i'm done with that. it's the mood. i'm working on it but i've yet to really spend any time thinking about christmas and what its all about and stuff. you know how every year christmas starts earlier and earlier but somehow goes by faster than ever and with less of the...i guess just the feel of christmas. perhaps we start it earlier every year in hopes that by giving ourselves more time with it we'll fall more into the spirit. i think that maybe we're a bit off if that's our thinking. why? well i think that the real problem is the depth to which we experience the season and what comes along with it. another week or two of skimming the surface with some christmas tunes and shopping is not going to get us any more into any kind of christmas spirit. so here is my challenge to myself. given that i have spent all month working 70 hour weeks and spending little to no time involved in any kind of attempt to experience christmas on a level deeper than the pictures of families and kids sitting by the christmas tree that i take every day i am embarking upon a test. i am going to spend the next few days (hopefully even those which are spent at work) in an attempt to go deeper with this whole christmas thing. how? reading the bible's version of this whole christmas thing, actually making it over to church on sunday and spending some time in community with others seeking to experience the real depth of christmas, and at the same time enjoy the things that have come to be a part of the season (ie: watch a few christmas classics like white christmas which i am enjoying as i type, maybe its a wonderful life or elf too, as well as spending time with the family away from the distractions of our typical lives once i make it home). anyway, i'll let ya know how it goes.

Posted in: on Thursday, December 21, 2006 at at 1:00 AM 0 comments  

i went into borders today after picking up a kayak paddle from great outdoor and overheard a wonderful conversation. a couple sitting reading and a lady shopping for mad libs for little christmas gifts fell into conversation. i know not what caught my attention save the rush of fresh air that swept me when i heard their voices and the excitement in them. the excitement of speaking of something that broke from the stream of comercialized american culture in which this conversation and its participants swam. and when they bobbed out above the river i did too and i felt the same breeze against my face. i dont know how or why it started but when i happened upon them the topic was the mind and travel. ah yes, it started from a discussion on the environment in which one reads. the mad lib lady professed to being a bed reader while the lady of the couple opted for variety and atmosphere. variety in atmoshere widens her experience of life you see. and the environment of which she reads does the same. its a win win. she can travel to rome without even leaving the comforts of a local eatery. she can travel the world at the cost of picking up a book. this she claimed was the beauty of the mind. and mad libs thought this to be a very profound insight to which lady of the couple replied, "no he is the deep one. i am very simple. i think like a child. but simplicity can be deep too, i suppose. and so can children." children create in their minds they live beyond their own world, beyond the rome of lady of the couple. they create entirely new worlds. their minds grow from use and travel. and when they question their own world it is with the simple penetrating observations that we have missed in search of something that makes us sound profound or at the least quite learned. so tonight i will take my paddle, which i am borrowing from great outdoor until i get my own, and i will paddle my kayak through my apartment and down the greatest rapids my mind can fathom and when i tip over i will not drown nor even get wet. come spring when i get this thing out in the water we may have quite another story altogether. dream dreams. hope. travel (inside and out). expand your mind. love. question life. live life. and if you happen across either of those ladies in some other world, thank them for me.

Posted in: on Friday, December 15, 2006 at at 10:00 PM 0 comments  

so...james just left to go home for christmas. he'll be gone till mid january and until then i have no roomate. i didnt think it would be too huge of a change but pretty much the second he walked out the door i felt like something was off. i think its that given my long hours i have no time to spend with friends and therefore coming home and having someone here to talk to is incredibly nice. anyway now i get to experience living on my own for a while which i'm not really excited about...

i mean who's gonna be here to laugh at me when i paddle my kayak around the apt, who's going to help clean, who's going to pick up my mail from the office while i'm at work, who am i gonna play connect four with, who's going to organize frisbee golf games, who's going to cook so we can have people over, who's gonna be asleep on the couch when i get home from work?

i guess i'll make it but things will be a bit more quiet on the home front.

Posted in: on Thursday, December 14, 2006 at at 8:56 AM 2 comments  

some of you may remember the last time i went into a frenzy over a musical artist. if you're thinking "oh yeah, lilly allen" then you are right. except its spelled lily and you thought it with two l's. since hearing her last year i'm pretty sure she's made it into every mix cd i've given/ been on every list of artists i've recomended for anyone. why do i bring lily up? only because i've run upon another musical phenom who, i hope, i will share as much over the coming year as i have lily since i heard her music. (ps if you still havent heard of lily she's big in england not here yet....but getting there)

so who is my newest musical crush?

regina spektor. remember that name. if it doesn't become famous thats ok because there are some amazing songs attached to it anyway. by all means check her out. got to the website and watch the video for fidelity imediately. if your not hooked after that then there is something wrong with you and i will need to terminate our friendship immediately.

Posted in: on Thursday, December 07, 2006 at at 7:09 PM 2 comments  

Posted in: on at at 11:58 AM 0 comments  

i'm really excited about the upcoming month for my blog. exciting stories and an exciting time of year. christmas and all that that entails...which may include a brief switch to the holiday header(i'll hold off as long as i can on that but it may not be too far off.) anyway, be excited, but not too excited because then i might let you down...just a medium amount of excitment and expectation.

peace out,
-kg

Posted in: on Wednesday, November 29, 2006 at at 11:43 PM 1 comments  

answer me this. would i have believed you if you had told me i could get lunch (a full one with a side and cookie and drink and all) for a dollar? would i have believed you if you told me a few months back that all of my teams would be 10-2 by the waining weeks of the 06 football season? nay. not a chance. but here i sit today having witnessed both. amazing. this is a great day. did you know that moe's serves the maggie moo and other childrens menu items for 1 dollar on sundays? neither did i. sunday is now my favorite day to get my favorite moe's meal. maggie moo w/ chicken. also, well done on the seasons so far wfu, lsu, and notre dame. keep it up.

Posted in: on Sunday, November 26, 2006 at at 10:25 PM 0 comments  

so here i am on a late night ramble. it seems as if it's been quite a while since i last wrote anything that had any real significance to it. lots of humorous stories but nothing really about life or me or anyone else. i dont know what it is i want to talk about here but i feel the need to say something. i guess i'll just sum up my life right now. i work. all the time. its the busy season at the portrait studio. families, kids, everyone coming in for their christmas photos. really good for us since we just opened but it means we dont stop working. through december we're in 6 days a week from 830 till...well until the last appointment finishes which is usually 830ish as well give or take a half hour or so. last week i almost got to 60 hours. its crazy. and we all think so but if we can make it through then we will have rest in jan. thru till easter and then another couple of crazy weeks and then easy sailing till next christmas. but in the meantime there we are day in day out shooting pic after pic and doin our thing. so that is my life in a nutshell. do i like it? i guess so. pictures are fun and i really do love portraits. but i wont be able to go to church for a really freaking long time. and i miss it. last year working at 1st pres i realized that the thing i loved about the place the most was the community/family feel of it. and now i dont get to be involved at all. it sucks. i just got back from hanging out with a few friends. we had the guitars out and were singing worship songs. and it was the first time i had in like a month. and i miss it. music is huge for me and worshiping in community is something that connects me with god in a special way. i havent experienced it in so long that i wonder what effect it's really having on me. i mean i think i'm still nice and try to be there as much as i can for friends, which is all well and good but what about god? yeah of course i can find him in the mundane of life...he is there just as much as he is always there anywhere, but there is something so different about this life i lead right now. work, eat, sleep, repeat. that's about the same. but there is something so awesome about going to work when you know that much of your day will be spent talking about god and his work here. last years internship was so amazing for that reason. i find myself now with days going completely by without having one single discussion about god, without one hymn being sung, without the shared understanding that we are all striving to follow his purpose for our lives. its not that he is not there. it's just so much easier to remember his presence when one person or other is continually pointing him out for us all to see. i guess all that is to say that i miss living a life so continuously focused on pointing others to god because it so much of the time kept me focused on him as well.

Posted in: on Saturday, November 25, 2006 at at 2:23 AM 0 comments  

well yeah but this is a totally different and better story. one that may have just fulfilled a lifelong dream...

the other day a co-worker's (krystal) husband and son came in to say hi to her and see the place. we all greeted and met and such and then they took off for home. the next day as we chatted about the new season of OC, krystal said, "oh yeah, kevin, when i got home my husband said, 'that kevin guy looks just like seth from the OC.' " and just like that my year was made. the fact that everyone imediately agreed and comented that i not only look like seth but act just like him as well only confirmed the realization of said lifelong dream. check that off the list of lifelong dreams. i'll be smiling about that one straight through christmas.

Posted in: on Thursday, November 16, 2006 at at 8:57 PM 1 comments  

as i sat on the couch tonight watching part two of a two night OC extravaganza i came to a realization. Not only has ryan slightly, just slightly, matured over the past few years, but his fighting has improved dramatically. i harken back to the premier when the image of luke dropping ryan on the beach with one shot was seared into all of our memories. and tonight ryan did what we all thought may never happen. he did the same to volchok. one punch to the ground. well done ryan. i am almost as proud of him for this feat as i am for him not actually killing volchok with the broken bottle he was immediately hovering over him with.

i also came to the realization that even without marissa this season seems promising due to the fact that the writing seems to have returned to former glory after its slump last year. that and kirstin seems to be back to a healthy normal person weight. i guess i'll find out how those hold up as the season moves along.

ps: in other news, tomorrow is my first day of work.

Posted in: on Thursday, November 09, 2006 at at 10:47 PM 0 comments  

...at me for putting this up here but sometimes i blow myself away with my ability to guess random things. (ie my favorite example from a childhood game of trivial pursuit: who considers himself the errol flynn of B movies? (ps errol was in the original robin hood with olivia de havilland) ronald regan. (that was both my guess and the correct answer....did i know it or have a clue....nope)

....so back to the matter at hand. here is my most recent ridiculous guess from aim:

KillerRabbit92: hey
hp THAt GUY: what up?
KillerRabbit92: nm
KillerRabbit92: just getting read to go trick or treating
KillerRabbit92: guess who i am
hp THAt GUY: nice
hp THAt GUY: hmm
hp THAt GUY: hopefully chuck norris
KillerRabbit92: what????? how in the world did you guess that
KillerRabbit92: i even have chest hair though
hp THAt GUY: hahahahaha
KillerRabbit92: its incredible

Posted in: on Wednesday, November 01, 2006 at at 9:21 PM 0 comments  

one time long long ago....i think i was in my first or second year of college....i decided that when i got my first real job i would buy, with my first paycheck, a kayak. amusingly, i remembered this semi-pact with myself a few days ago and ironically i am in the midst of training for my job and waiting patiently for said first pay check. so now i have a dilemma. do i in fact go through with said decision made so many years ago? i'm debating but at this point i think it could be amusing. i mean i always thought they would be pretty pricey but in fact they really arent too bad. so anyway....i'll let you know how this story ends as soon as it comes to one. until then here are the options: a pyranha and a wavesport...clearly both very similar.

Posted in: on Sunday, October 29, 2006 at at 9:17 PM 1 comments  

i am happy. it's becoming one of my favorite seasons. i'll tell you how i know. even with winston's fluxuating weather patterns durring the months when summer goes winter and vice versa, there is one day when to me fall has arrived. the other day i arrived home and exited my car to the scent of fall. someone somewhere in this town has started a fire. the scent of a fire while driving along is one of life's subtle but great pleasures. and the first wiff on a brisk fall evening really gets me. it's a sign that jackets will start coming out of the closet, scarves are on the way, fuzzy little hats and all those wonderful wintery clothing accesories. now its not just the clothes that do it for me. this whole weather change means that people are about to start being festive. we americans may drop the ball on having legit holidays all year round like some countries but we really get going come this time of year. i mean the pumpkins are out, shortly followed by thanksgiving, which is quickly moved right on through in search of christmas, which is followed closely by new years to kind of start weaning us out of holiday mode, then valentine's day for those of us who didnt quite get the holidays out of our system with they other four. and finally easter to hold us over until the next time round. now there are a few others and there is the 4th as kind of a kind of a midway marker but these are the ones that create...well stress in some cases, but in others they create giving and lots of hanging out with friends and fam. and i am all for those. anyway, before i keep rambling off into lala land. i, clearly, was very happy at the scent of someone's little bonfire somewhere off in "the dash" the other night. it signaled the start of....sigh. plus i really freaking just enjoy that smell.

Posted in: on Sunday, October 22, 2006 at at 1:49 AM 2 comments  

monday i start training for my job. i get to live in charlotte for two weeks because thats where the headquarters are for the portrait studio. they're putting us up in a really sweet extended stay hotel that from the pictures looks a lot like my apartment. i'm kind of excited about that. i am also very excited about doing something. anything really. i have wasted the past week of my life sitting around here on the computer/watching movies, which sounds nice but after a while...you know that feeling in high school at the end of the summer when you're sitting there like "hmm, yep i've done everything i can think of to do...i really can't wait for school to start back so i can be on a schedule." that's where i am. it's been an amazing summer/beginning of fall but at this point i need to be on a schedule...oh yeah and making money because i don't have any (part of the reason i sit around the apt, because if i don't go out i won't have to pay for stuff). anyway, i am looking forward to some interesting times in the queen city.

let me just reiterate that the place we are staying is really awesome. not only does it look like my apt but we get lots of free meals, free internet(unheard of in todays hotels), free laundry, there's a freaking kitchen in the suites. i'm sure there's more, oh and don't have to pay for any of it. i'm so amused by the small things.

Posted in: on Friday, October 20, 2006 at at 3:54 PM 0 comments  

i guess maybe i'm tired of my colors and background and stuff...which is evident in the fact that i keep changing things up on the blog. so if it looks different every time you happen by don't worry. i'll stick with something soon. maybe.

ps:thanks for visiting!

Posted in: on Thursday, October 19, 2006 at at 2:30 AM 1 comments  

sorry if i jumped the gun with the candy corn background...maybe i'll wait till its actually halloween and then try it again. also: juengel's cd is on itunes

Posted in: on Thursday, October 12, 2006 at at 12:34 PM 0 comments  

lets not lie...that title makes this sound like the most directionless post ever...but its not. it really is a post about stuff. like things. like i was reading the Lewis blog and noticed a verse from the bible directing us not to store up treasure on earth where they can be destroyed and stolen. i'm wondering about the verse and what it is telling me. is it telling me not to have stuff. to live without things or nice things anyway. or is it saying that the things i do have are not to be my treasure. and if i dont treat them as treasure, if i assign to them a proper value is it ok to have them? if my treasure is things that will not pass away, friends, family, relationships that one would assume carry into the life we live after this? if my treasures are things of real value and not the nice stuff here?

my thoughts: i have always felt that i should not try to have a lot of nice stuff...that my money could be helping other people instead. is there a line though? should you give and give till you have nothing or should you "take care of number 1" as well?

so that wasnt thoughts it was more questions. i do feel however that god created all of this for us to live joy filled lives. i know that this entails love and friendship and stuff like that, but recently i've been wondering if it doesnt include stuff as well. i mean what about modern conveniences...we can poop in a toilet and flush where-as they used to just dump it in the streets. we can take care of ourselves medically and with clean foods that wont give us random sicknesses. we can drive to see people daily instead of making the long trek to commune with friends only occasionally on our feet. whatever, you get the point. i think we all deserve this stuff. it definitely improves the quality of life, and probably helps us to interact more readily with things that we do treasure. what about not just useful stuff though. we can hear music on a pod or watch movies. well they make art, people's ideas, more readily accesible to us. thats good right? what about this computer? and the internet its connected to? is it good that you can read my thoughts? we can live in comfort more easily with stuff. granted it can get in the way and it can distract us from our true treasure but if we keep it in perspective are we ok? can i include having lots of nice things that make life easier into the list of possible good things god wants for us? will they aid us in having joy? maybe if we use them...not just have them and hoard them like treasure...but use them for what good they can be used for. it they help us understand those things which are our treasure more, help us get to know those things which are treasure more? maybe. maybe not. whatev.

Posted in: on Monday, October 09, 2006 at at 10:57 PM 1 comments  

hmm...well here's a little story for you all and lets not lie i've told it several times already today: i awoke this morning to a typical day. out of bed and to the shower. then as i started the journey downstairs for breakfast my hand burst into figurative flames with the most absurd itching craziness i've ever experienced. now...let me take you back...you need a bit of background. the story begins with me having poison ivy on my hand...and in various other spots (just kind of dots here and there). this has been around for about a week (since i ridded the parents yard of vines and weeds and such last week). the particular bit of PI (poison ivy) that resides on the back of my hand was the first outbreak. not that i have much, but it started there and therefore it is the place where the itching had subsided. having lost its itch a few days back that particular patch of skin seemed to be returning to normal non-PI affectedness. you know how PI moves on to torment newer areas and leaves behind a portion of dry skin that will return to normal over the next week or so. so, clearly i was surprised to find this particular area of skin on the back of my hand once again agitated. so i turn my hand to see if there is a new outbreak or something to cause such a ruckus. what do i find? oh yeah a freaking mosquito bit me in the freaking middle of my freaking PI. are you freaking kidding me? since when were there FMO's(freaking mosquito's) in my freaking house and when did they begin targeting raised reddish patches of skin on the back of hands instead of legs and necks? needless to say the result was one of the most horrendous displays of itchery ever concocted. if you get the chance sometime in life NEVEr mix FMO's with FPI...all you get is a couple hours of PI itch times MO itch which somehow in the calculation is raised to the 5th or so...give or take two degrees of itchiness.

oh yeah the pic....not too exciting and a little blurred but it gives you the general location on the hand...its the lower bump...not the bit of PI above that.

Posted in: on Wednesday, October 04, 2006 at at 7:30 PM 0 comments  

sorry i've been so slow on the posting. my brain has not been on thought mode. does that make sense? i guess when i have stuff to get done, ie get a job or figure out where rent is coming from, my mind is not quite at ease enough to think of any profound comments to make. this is a sad state to be in because i love thinking about life and stuff and it means i havent had my eyes open to much of anything. for that i'm sorry because not only does it mean i've dropped the ball but it also means that i have nothing to share with you... other than the fact that i struggle. its funny. we say that we believe certain things. like i would say that i believe god provides. and yet i am to worried about rent to even think about the world he has put at my fingertips. i find it interesting how many of the things that we "believe", when push comes to shove.....well you know....we dont. what if. what if we believed what we said we did. can you imagine? what if i really believed through and through that my god would provide, that my god had my greatest joy in mind when he allowed trials to enter into life, that only a life of love would give the full life he wants us to live, and so on...you get the picture. what if we really believed? i'll be working on it, let me know if you figure it out.

ps if i could see one thing...it would be to see what the church becomes when we really do believe these things with all of our being. it would be amazing. i get giddy and excited just thinking about how powerfull that belief would be. how liberating, freeing, energizing, etc, etc, etc. wow. i cant even imagine.

Posted in: on at at 2:20 AM 0 comments  

So i have a job now. I will be working at a photo studio doing basically everything involved. The name is Portrait Innovations, it's a portrait place thats all over the country and is opening up a store in winston. I'll let you know how its going when i get started which wont be for a couple of weeks yet.

Posted in: on Tuesday, September 26, 2006 at at 11:28 AM 3 comments  

stress = me. apparently, despite my best efforts, my dad has been able to convince something within me subconsciously to stress out. i hate it. the scenario is that i have to find a job and a place to live, and quickly would be nice. the thing is that i have about a month to figure it out but somehow my dad has convinced me that its just not going to happen. not that i agree at all. i will tell you verbally and knowingly that he is wrong. i will find a job, i will find an appartment, and it will be ok. but somewhere inside something believed him and sent a stress out signal to the rest of my body. here's exactly what that random place within me bought into:
my dad believes, i think genuinely, that the world is hard. we do not get handouts. hard work and struggle is the only thing that gets us anywhere and even that doesn't get us far. you will not be given a second chance. people look out for themselves and could really care less about your well being. something like that i think with all the et cetera's that go along. and the sooner you learn it the better.
example: a teacher of mine in college assigned a paper when i was not in class and then when everyone else turned it in and i had nothing, since i had known nothing about it, he gave me a 0. no grace, no second chance, no late paper docked a letter grade, just a 0. (the class was my class on catholocism by the way... and i still find irony in the fact that to brother__ the idea of grace seemed foreign.) anyway, upon relating the story to my father he did not join in my irate cry for justice but instead said something to the effect of "thats life" and i couldnt help but feel that he was whole heartedly on the side of my professor.
i on the other hand could not disagree more strongly than i do. certainly there are those in life who act like my prof did that day but they are by no means the majority, nor right in acting so. i recently read a book entitled velvet elvis, written by rob bell, which i have already recommended to you in a previous blog. in it he speaks of heaven on earth. this sunday at church bo brookby spoke in a similar manner when he refered back to the garden of eden. each claimed that god desires this earth to be free of sin, of evil, of death, like heaven on earth, or a return to the state of the garden. this i buy. bell claims that as christians we are called to be a part of the change. we are to bring heaven to earth and every time we love, every time we extend grace, every time we exibit the characteristics of christ, when we live according to the laws of heaven we make this earth a bit more like it was meant to be...like it is meant to be...like it will become...like it is becoming.
example: i happened to be taking another class at the same time as the aforementioned one on the catholic tradition on faith and imagination. the same week as the paper that was due in that other class i had a major paper due in this class as well. having been overwhelmed with other work i had really not prepared a paper worth anything at all for the class and passed the professor the day the paper was due. i told him that i really had nothing for him that was worth his time and asked to be granted a day more to improve upon it. he gave me a week. i want to go back and say that again. he gave me a week. can you feel it. i can. the same rush of relief, the same gratitude, the same grateful happy loved encouraged every good exciting feeling i can think of joy came over me. it felt right. this is how we were meant to live. his response did not shelter me from the real world. it was the real world. the good part of it anyway. the part that i think has always been there.
anyway i believe that we are to exhibit this. grace, love, encouragement, that which is good in the world. i dont expect the bad because i know what side will win in the end and what side is breaking through all over the place. and i dont care if i run into the graceless because i know somewhere right around the corner is the other side. when my prof decided to give me a grade that he know would virtually make it impossible to pass his class i wanted to cry... but not for me. i wanted to cry for him. he thought he was teaching me a lesson about life. never mess up. but i know that we cannot avoid it. in this broken world we fall. we cannot be taught not to fall anymore than your computer can be taught never to freeze, the parts of your car to never break, the earth to stop spinning round the sun. i wanted to cry for him because i knew something that he become blind to. this world was like heaven. it exibited god. it was heaven. perfect. not because it was taught to be but because it was made to be...as god is making it, as god is making us to be perfect. god does not teach us our way to heaven...he changes us, makes us new and will keep at it till we get there.

you may say that the fight is close or that the "too bad life sucks" side is winning, but i will disagree. always. most of me anyway. till i can get rid of that little hidden part that bought the lie.

Posted in: on Tuesday, September 12, 2006 at at 12:15 AM 2 comments  

apparently the cease fire has held so far, though both sides seem a bit untrusting. here's the most recent news. article

Posted in: on Thursday, August 31, 2006 at at 11:42 AM 1 comments  

for those of you who know about the "invisible children" hopefully you've seen the news from uganda by now. if you dont know about them then check out the link (up and to the right). for nearly 20 years the Lords Resistance Army has been kidnapping children in northern uganda and brutally forcing them into their service (check out invisiblechildren.com or wikapedia it for a more thorough run down on their methods). After an agreement between LRA and government leaders the rebels have been given 3 weeks to gather at safe areas in southern sudan. i will be following the outcome of this closely but for the sake of the kids and everyone else involved please pray that this is truly the conclusion of a horrific war. article

Posted in: on Wednesday, August 30, 2006 at at 12:29 PM 0 comments  

once upon a time, a few years back, there were two roomates. they were inseprable. we combined there names into one. lerin, or erilie if you'd like. they lived in the kitchen dormitory of wake forest university and late one night in their room an idea formed between them and friends. it was mad genius, and filled with the spirit of friendship. it came to be known as the stabilla, or 'billa. it was the vehicle for the spread of friendship. it would carry on through the ages...etc.,etc.,etc. if you want the rest of the story let me know. if not merely witness the first 'billa beach weekend of hopefully many 'billa events to come:


seriously one of the most amazing weekends ever. surfing, music, stars, kayaks, bocce ball, 2.5 tons of cookies, a majority of the world's most amazing people(not exaggerating), and pawley's island(who's motto is arrogantly shabby in case you were wondering). in a nutshell: pure friendship. words really can't describe it. stabilla.

Posted in: on Sunday, August 27, 2006 at at 10:29 PM 0 comments  

pluto's not a planet anymore? check out the story on cnn. apparntly everyone on the former planet cried when it was demoted to dwarf planet status, along with school science teachers who already had lesson plans set to go with the regular 9 planet scenario.

Posted in: on Friday, August 25, 2006 at at 10:17 AM 1 comments  

i've yet to see the movie itself but snakesonaplane.com is amazing. samuel l. himself will make a phone call for you. give the site a friends number and you can personalize a message that a recorded sam will deliver. it's phenomenal. and hilarious. samuel l. i know you're reading this and i just want to let you know that you are a big timer. twice.

Posted in: on Thursday, August 24, 2006 at at 4:17 PM 0 comments  

so i have finally made it home to the 'ville and am spending a few days with my parents and my grandfather, who is flying in today. last night i sat down with the parents to watch the BBC version of jane austin's persuasion. it was interesting. i love jane austin, and i enjoy persuasion, but for some reason i wasnt too excited about whatching the movie. then i realized that it was because it wasnt pretty. now i say this as an overall blanket statement with regards to the camera work, the sets, and the cast. not that they were poor, but just not top quality. i think the part that threw me off the most was the cast. lets be honest, and i will quote andrea here, i dont want to watch ugly people on tv. we're so used to pretty people on television. and i guess it makes sense. we all have a little bit of ADD in us and so our attentions will be captured by whatever its the most pretty attractive thing around. and when that is the cast of the movie we are going to be watching the movie, and if, like i did last night, you realize that when you read the book you had pictured much different and prettier characters then you may have to stop watching the movie and go back to a book because it has a stronger draw. yes its sad, but i tried to stay interested and in the end my parents and i decided we would have to wade through the rest of the movie another night. so, you can say that i'm a terrible person or you can just agree with me that you're probably the same way and that we're all just a bit desensitized by tv and are a little more shallow because of it.

Posted in: on Wednesday, August 23, 2006 at at 11:13 AM 0 comments  

so i just realized the other day as i was on my way from hamilton, just north of boston, to a little airport just over into new hampshire that this summer has been, as far as i can remember, the most travel filled of my life. really thats all i want to say in this post. that and to drop a fun number out there. 28. twenty eight. as we were driving to that airport i pulled out an atlas and began counting. 28. thats a few over half of 50. so based on that i have been in over half of the states of our country this summer. yep, 28 states. for some reason i really enjoy that. (i promise a less silly post soon.)

kg

Posted in: on Friday, August 18, 2006 at at 2:35 AM 1 comments  

READ VELVET ELVIS!!!1


It's kind of phenominal

Posted in: on Tuesday, August 15, 2006 at at 2:36 AM 2 comments  

i had a couple of songs that i started. one is a typical "i like god" song and the other is a "its really hard to follow him sometimes" song. i liked them both and recorded them at the same time...and didnt ever get the chance to finish them yet. maybe i'll have a random stroke of creativity and finish at some point. till then they are recorded together on the myspace music site. probably a couple more new ones on the way too as soon as i get the chance to record them.

peace,
kg

Posted in: on at at 2:08 AM 0 comments  

i am sorry. i know that there are hundreds of you out there thinking "why did kevin stop posting?" i will now end your suspense. i have been at camp for the past month or so and away from the convenience of internet use. as it has been a month i cannot begin to catch you up in one posting on the happenings here and the ways that god has been moving at camp oak hill. god is a big timer though and i like him a lot. i just looked back on my blog from before my western road trip and read where i wrote that i wanted to be reawakened to the joy's of life. i think this summer may have done it. the trip having been amazing and me still trying to capture it in one journaled summary, here at camp hanging out with an amazing staff and kids, looking forward to a trip to boston next week, a visit with my grandfather, a wonderful group of friends at the beach, and maybe a job in boulder colorado next year, and yet even with all of this i am enjoying each day more and more; living life more in the moment that in a long while and not trying to escape it. god is good, and as paul tells titus god does not lie. i dont know if that really means anything...other than that he just doesnt. its random and you should read it. its in his greeting to titus...and its a little out of place...hes just writing along saying hi and then throws in god doesnt lie. i love it. its just "oh by the way, god doesnt lie". try it sometime...just throw it out there...random facts about god to whoever you happen to be talking to.

thats all for now, peace,
kg

Posted in: on Thursday, August 10, 2006 at at 12:28 PM 1 comments