KGBlog

as of late i've taken to posting things i find amusing, uncharacteristically creative,  or carry within them some seed of truth.  i feel that on occasion it would behoove all for me to insert some of my own life into this blog...as that was it's purpose in the beginning.  so, if you're up for a little rambling, click play above and settle back for my reveries...

1. i find that my life goes in cycles.  probably in all areas but as examples:  there are periods when i cannot get enough of good books and others when to immerse myself in a book would be an impiety upon the stories being played out in real life around me.  there are times when i want to reflect, as i do now, and gather the bits of truth that i can find, and others when i want to not think about living but live, break free and live with no thought as to whether anything makes sense beyond the mere enjoyment of experiencing life.  there are times when i want to pursue friendships with great effort and times when i want nothing to do with you unless you are the one who has made the effort to call me.  times when i want my work to be full of creativity and beauty and times when i want my work to be mundane and structured.  i think all of these are influenced by the flow of my energies back and forth and in and out of all of these moods, and there is to them a constant and unpredictable current.

2. you can listen to me or just read dave's post over at in repair for the main idea of this one. love. it all comes back to this. as he says, not hollywood love, but the sort of day in day out pouring into a persons, or peoples lives. a healthy community building, life giving, love. cs says somewhere that we are most ourselves not alone or in couples but when a group of friends gathers, because each in the group pulls from others a different flavor. perhaps like a simmering stew of friendship. flavors combining and complimenting and drawing out and enhancing. but, as it is, we (myself and many of my peers) find ourselves existing in a transient time. between studies and settling. choosing paths and following crazy dreams. and thus not settled, we struggle to maintain relationships from a former more stable time across states and seas with the rickety crutches of phone lines, of facebook and the internet. it is rare indeed that these ties will deepen through these. at best they are maintained for some future time when old friends are reunited to grow together again.  the now strained roots intertwined in the past, relaxing and growing downward together gracefully at ease again. that is the hope anyway. in the meantime we set our roots to growing as best we can, pouring into new friends the love we can, seeking good soil wherever we find ourselves for as long as we find ourselves there. i wonder to myself at these thoughts whether or not it is only me with my odd aversion to phones, and skepticism towards the internets social gathering places, that finds deepening these distant relationships difficult and also whether or not there is a point deep enough where roots so intertwined shake free the inevitable superficialities of the internet and really do keep growing? i don't know...but to quote,

I'm gonna experiment with this love thing-- giving love, feeling love...I know it sounds really corny but it's the last thing I gotta check out. Before I check out.

Posted in: on Friday, October 03, 2008 at at 3:08 PM